Boston - More than a Feeling

I remember this song so fondly because I can remember my Dad putting it on the record player at our old house on Germain Road in Richmond and cranking up the volume to where it would fill the whole living room and surround me. It seemed like the  electric guitars were all around me. Even back then we had a pretty decent stereo system and speakers hanging from the ceiling with good ole Macrame (haha). It was always a treat when Mom and Dad would play music.

Once I got into MTV and saw videos of these guys playing I always thought the reason Dad liked them was cause they had hair just like his... maybe somewhat misguided, but hey who knows why we think what we think when young,

I still love listening to this LOUD.... and most of the rest of this Album too! It really a great one! You could definitely hear this one coming out of my car on a Friday afternoon! lol

Here Comes the Sun

My Mom died June 1st. at 2:06 AM in the morning. I wont ever forget that moment. I was there. It was so hard to do, and yet, I wanted to be there. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Over the past year or two, she would fuss at me for staying too late when she was at the hospital, and I would just tell her, "You did it for me, why wouldn't I do it for you?!" And she knew what I meant. When I was born, I was 30 days premature. She spent the first month of my life going back and forth to the hospital to take care of me, a preemie. She would tell me how small I was, that she could hold me in the palm of her hand, and she was there every single day for me. A Mothers love!!!

My Dad asked me if there was a song I thought that would be good for Moms funeral. Instantly this song popped into my head. The night I stayed with her before she passed away, I grappled with what else I could do but sit there and wish I wasn't losing her. If there is one thing that Mom taught me from earlier than I can remember, it was music. My first post on this blog was about the songs she would play for me in our apartment, on a record player, The song I posted was 'Delta Dawn' but there were others. There in the hospital I decided to pull out my wireless headsets and play her some music. Of course the only logical thing to play for her would be 'The Beatles'. So I fired up Google Play, and put on the Beatles playlist, and put the headset on my Moms ears. I was obsessed that they were too loud, so I kept going to check. But the first song that played in the playlist, (and I played the whole playlist for her twice that night) was this song. I don't pretend to know what heaven is like, but I pray that she was greeted with the most beautiful sunrise ever!

Right after she passed away, I went to Jersey Mikes to pick up dinner for us on my way home from work. My Mom absolutely LOVED Jersey Mikes. Her favorite sandwich period. As I made it to the front of the line, Here Comes the Sun started playing in the store. Trying to explain why I was crying in the line at Jersey Mikes to the staff was rather interesting. A sign?! too coincidental not to be.

I had a dream about her last week. we didn't speak but she looked happy and healthy, and she hugged me. In the dream i remember I was worried that I wouldn't be able to feel the hug. But I could really feel it, when she hugged me. I like to think that was her way of letting me know she is still here every way she can be. I sure miss her :( . This is the most painful loss I have ever dealt with. And I have seen quite a bit. A friend told me that the feeling never goes away, you only learn to deal with how much it hurts. I'm trying.

My Uncle made me a beautiful stained glass to hang in my window. For the longest time I couldn't decide what I wanted the stained glass to be. Mom was there when I started trying to decide. She would call me and ask me, "Did you decide yet?!" And I would keep saying "no". I couldn't decide. I would go back and forth between Dogwood flowers, or a Treble Clef music staff kind of combo thing. But couldn't ever come up with a good design that I liked, and that I felt wouldn't be a PITA for my Uncle to do. After Moms funeral Uncle Dino sat me down and said, "Okay, before I leave we are coming up with a stained glass for you!" And again this song popped into my head. "A Sun", I said. And before we knew it we had the template and colors picked out. The glass turned out gorgeous! And it will hang in our sunniest window as a tribute to my Mom. I wish she could have seen what I picked, and know why. Maybe she does. I love it, its beautiful.

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
It's all right, it's all right