Here Comes the Sun

My Mom died June 1st. at 2:06 AM in the morning. I wont ever forget that moment. I was there. It was so hard to do, and yet, I wanted to be there. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Over the past year or two, she would fuss at me for staying too late when she was at the hospital, and I would just tell her, "You did it for me, why wouldn't I do it for you?!" And she knew what I meant. When I was born, I was 30 days premature. She spent the first month of my life going back and forth to the hospital to take care of me, a preemie. She would tell me how small I was, that she could hold me in the palm of her hand, and she was there every single day for me. A Mothers love!!!

My Dad asked me if there was a song I thought that would be good for Moms funeral. Instantly this song popped into my head. The night I stayed with her before she passed away, I grappled with what else I could do but sit there and wish I wasn't losing her. If there is one thing that Mom taught me from earlier than I can remember, it was music. My first post on this blog was about the songs she would play for me in our apartment, on a record player, The song I posted was 'Delta Dawn' but there were others. There in the hospital I decided to pull out my wireless headsets and play her some music. Of course the only logical thing to play for her would be 'The Beatles'. So I fired up Google Play, and put on the Beatles playlist, and put the headset on my Moms ears. I was obsessed that they were too loud, so I kept going to check. But the first song that played in the playlist, (and I played the whole playlist for her twice that night) was this song. I don't pretend to know what heaven is like, but I pray that she was greeted with the most beautiful sunrise ever!

Right after she passed away, I went to Jersey Mikes to pick up dinner for us on my way home from work. My Mom absolutely LOVED Jersey Mikes. Her favorite sandwich period. As I made it to the front of the line, Here Comes the Sun started playing in the store. Trying to explain why I was crying in the line at Jersey Mikes to the staff was rather interesting. A sign?! too coincidental not to be.

I had a dream about her last week. we didn't speak but she looked happy and healthy, and she hugged me. In the dream i remember I was worried that I wouldn't be able to feel the hug. But I could really feel it, when she hugged me. I like to think that was her way of letting me know she is still here every way she can be. I sure miss her :( . This is the most painful loss I have ever dealt with. And I have seen quite a bit. A friend told me that the feeling never goes away, you only learn to deal with how much it hurts. I'm trying.

My Uncle made me a beautiful stained glass to hang in my window. For the longest time I couldn't decide what I wanted the stained glass to be. Mom was there when I started trying to decide. She would call me and ask me, "Did you decide yet?!" And I would keep saying "no". I couldn't decide. I would go back and forth between Dogwood flowers, or a Treble Clef music staff kind of combo thing. But couldn't ever come up with a good design that I liked, and that I felt wouldn't be a PITA for my Uncle to do. After Moms funeral Uncle Dino sat me down and said, "Okay, before I leave we are coming up with a stained glass for you!" And again this song popped into my head. "A Sun", I said. And before we knew it we had the template and colors picked out. The glass turned out gorgeous! And it will hang in our sunniest window as a tribute to my Mom. I wish she could have seen what I picked, and know why. Maybe she does. I love it, its beautiful.

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
It's all right, it's all right

RIP Prince / The Ladder

If every we were talking about 'The day the music died', it would or could be today 4/21/2016. Just Heartbroken


The day Prince Rogers Nelson passed away. Hearts are breaking all over the world at the musical genius we just lost, and all of the music we will never know because he hadnt written it yet.

this post is hard to write because there are so few videos out there for me to honor him with. He kept that stuff locked down tight.

My favorite songs?? The list would be long and distinguished. But while everyone recognizes Purple Rain (and it is admittedly one of my all time favorite albums EVER. there were so many others!

The Ladder, Pop Life, The Beautiful Ones, Do Me Baby, Cream, 1999, U Got the Look, Sign O The Times, I Wanna Be Your Lover, And every single song on Purple Rain... Lets Go Crazy, Baby Im a Star, I Would Die 4 You, Darling Nikki, Purple Rain, Computer Blue.. all of it.

The one video Id love to put here I probably wouldnt be able to find... "The Ladder" or "Pop Life"


The Ladder

Once upon a time in the land of sinaplenty
There lived a king who didn't deserve 2 be
He knew not where he came from

Nor where he was going
He never once said thank u, never please

Now this king he had a subject named electra
Who loved him with a passion, uncontested
4 Him each day she had a smile
But it didn't matter
The king was looking 4 the ladder

Everybody's looking 4 the ladder
Everybody wants salvation of the soul
The steps u take are no easy road
But the reward is great
4 Those who want 2 go

A feeling of self-worth (everybody's looking)
Will caress u (for the answers)
The size of the whole wide world will decrease (how the story started)
(And how it will end)
The love of god's creation will undress u
And time spent alone my friend, will cease

Everybody's looking 4 the answers
How the story started and how it will end
What's the use in half a story, half a dream
U have 2 climb all of the steps in between (yeah, we ride)

Everybody's looking 4 the ladder
Everybody wants salvation of the soul
The steps u take are no easy road (the steps you take are no easy road)
(It's not that easy)
But the reward is great
4 Those who want 2 go (I do)

Everybody everybody's looking (everybody's looking 4 the answers)
For the answers
Everybody wants to know how the story (how the story started)
Started and how it will end (started and how it will end)
What's the use in half a story, (what's the use in half a story)
Half a dream (half of a dream)
U, u gotta climb, u gotta climb (u have 2 climb all)
All of the steps in between (the steps in between)

Everybody
Everybody's looking 4 that ladder (everybody's looking 4 the ladder)
Everybody wants salvation of the soul (everybody wants salvation of the soul)
(Salvation)
The steps u take are no easy road (the steps you take are no easy road)
(That's for sure)
But the reward is great (the reward is great)
4 Those who want 2 go, (4 those who want 2 go)
Those who want 2 go

Everybody everybody wants (everybody's looking 4 the answers)
An answer
Anyone who know how the story (how the story started)
Started, how it will end (started and how it will end)
Will it be lonely in the world (what's the use in half a story)
What's the use? (half of a dream)
(Have 2 climb all)
(The steps in between)

Capital Cities - Safe and Sound

My Mario passed away this week and try as I may, because he passed away in our home while our family was asleep, I couldnt find a song to identify with his passing. This might sound crazy but I should explain.

When Bailey's was sick I took him to the vet because I was hoping that they could make him better. But they couldnt. They had him for a full day but he was shutting down, and there was nothing to be done but say our goodbyes and put him to sleep. It was horrible, I felt so bad that he had to go that way, in a cold exam room. I sobbed and sobbed over him. With my poor brother in the waiting room with our kiddo. My husband by my side the whole time. I couldnt stop apologizing to Baileys that there was nothing I could do,and how sorry I was for this. The vet let us take our time as long as we needed to say our goodbyes. He was amazing even under these circumstances and I very much appreciate his thoughtfulness in that he stayed for us as long as we needed.

When I got in the car to go home after that experience this song was playing when the car started, and I just cried my eyes out. So much so that my kiddo said, "Mommy when are you going to stop crying?!" Inside? Probably never. I miss Bailey's, he was a mean little cuss but I miss him so much. But I had Mario to go home with (he was with us to understand that Bailey's was gone). And he became my little king! for 3 more years. I loved that little boy.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I noticed that Mario was breathing extremely hard, it was taking his whole body to breathe. He wasn't just panting hard. I took him to the vet because he was so labored. He saw the same vet who helped us with Bailey's. He took Xrays and explained that Marios heart was really big and he didn't have a nice strong heartbeat like before. He said Congestive Heart Failure, gave me medication and told me that best case scenario that should help for a while. But there wasn't any guarantee. Mario did great for about 2 weeks. Ate his food took his meds, and drank a lil more water. Then he stopped eating, and drinking. It degenerated from there. to where he couldn't stand. He had already been sleeping alot for a long time, but this was different, he would just lay down in odd positions in odd places. My heart was hurting for him.

The night he passed away, my husband didn't want to move him from the bed next to me. Hubby said he was comfortable and to leave him there (hubby is a saint, he took the couch over moving my 16 year old baby). We put pads under him and towels and he stayed next to me all night. I woke up several times in the night and he was still breathing heavy. We had already had our conversation, that it was ok to let go. I would miss him, but that I loved him with all my heart. To tell Bailey's I missed him and loved him, and to go play over the rainbow bridge. There wouldn't be anymore struggling to breathe, and that I would see him again one day. I fell asleep again after petting his head and telling him I loved him, and when I woke again at 5 in the morning he was gone.

But the house was silent. I am this person who associates music to everything. Songs I hear in passing take me back to times gone by that I might have forgotten until I hear it. I realized after a while that this song could be the song for both of my sweet boys. *tears* Because Mario passed in our home next to me, and maybe he felt Safe and Sound to let go where he was. I didn't want him to be alone, though I wish I had been awake to give him pets and love as he went on his way. I sure do miss him, and his doggy smile, his tip tap on the floor as he walked through the house, his barking at me to put him on the bed with me, his happy dance at dinner time. All of it.





My Mario

Something Newish

If you haven't checked out Chris Stapletons CD you need to do so. I kept seeing him on award shows but hadnt really given it a proper listen. I dont get into Mainstream radio that much anymore, I listen to alot of 80'S and 90's on Sirius. And I havent been following country except for my go to artists, Miranda Lambert, Pistol Annie's, Blake Shelton, etc. So when I see Miranda pop up on an awards show with a Bedazzled Chris Stapleton Tshirt, Im like ok.. maybe I should see what this is all about.



I gotta tell ya, WOW! But dont take my word for it.





These are only a few songs. The whole cd is phenomenal. Give it a listen... Traveller.

Its so Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday

Holy crap!!! This song just filled my 'Beats' and instantly I had tears in my eyes, for no reason.... just overwhelming...

U2 - Classic Rock?! 'In the Name of Love'

I was listening to a classic rock station the other day. And they were playing great bands like Bad Company, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, U2.... WAIT, WHAT?! When did U2 become classic rock!? What "rock" have I been living under?!

I love U2, my friend Leighann LOOOOOOVED U2 in high school. (I wonder if I put enough O's in there haha.) So this song takes me back to hanging out with her. :) Riding 4 wheelers in the field. She even let me ride her horse Colonel (I'm pretty sure that was his name). Things that i am reminded of when I listen to U2 :) <3 But I digress, this is not "Classic rock!!" I am NOT old! I will not grow up, and you cant make me! :)




Honorable mention goes to Mysterious Ways!

WOW! 6 months and posted nothing!

Slacky slacker here. I haven't posted anything in a LONG time! Nothing much to say. Was listening to THE fabulous Travis Tritt earlier. <3